Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The More I Seek You ...

It may not yet officially be spring, but here in lovely Cincinnati, it is definitely acting like it. The temperature can vary 25 degrees in 24 hours, and it will be sunny one minute, and ten minutes later it will be pouring rain, and an hour later, that rain will have turned to snow. It's crazy. Right now I'm just sitting on my bedroom floor beside my window listening to Billie Holiday's voice blend with the rain hitting the roof. It's one of my favorite sounds. It is soothing and peaceful and makes me feel so protected.

Here, spring reveals itself slowly. We get tiny glimpses of it every few weeks--and then the closer we get to the end of march, the more frequent those slivers of warmth and sunshine become.

The more I seek You, the more I find You,
The more I find you, the more I love You.
I wanna sit at Your feet,
Drink from the cup in Your hand.
Lay back against You and breathe, feel Your heart beat.
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming.

The past few months have been so full of God-things. He has been working on me in so many ways. Revealing things I've been waiting for, and withholding things I apparently do not yet need to know. Three years ago it would have paralyzed me to not have a plan--and did when I saw two things coming that I was not prepared for--things that would completely alter the direction I had believed my future would go in. I was terrified and I didn't know how to deal with them, so I didn't.

I've told you about the parallels between running and life that God has shown me in the recent past, and about how knowledge can sometimes hold us back. Knowing things can be a hinderance. Knowledge is important, but it also gives us reason to fear--and to use logic. In our human logic, we often question faith. Yet, faith is the most logical thing there is. When we share with others what we have been moved to do, sometimes they will use their logic--the logic that says what you're doing does not make sense to them--the logic that says what you're doing is not going to fit into the norms of the society you live in--the logic that will try to talk you out of the faith you've stepped out in.

But here's the thing. Faith isn't supposed to make sense, or seem natural. Faith is about the supernatural God we serve and love and live for. Faith is about doing things and living life in a way that would be impossible without God's faithfulness and provision. We are here to live for Him. Our lives are not our own--my life is not my own. My life is His. I have had to stop telling Him what I want, what I dream, what seems right to me, the answers I think I have. I have had to learn to shut my mouth, remit my qualms, and hear Him--becoming willing and obedient and faithful.
Purpose is a daily thing. It is not a one time event. Our lives--each day--each minute--is a step in the purpose for which we were created. When we forget our purpose, we become wanderers--distracted, fearful & visionless. We forget what we were created for & Who we were created by.

1 comment:

  1. I love you and your insights! And now I have that amazing song in my head...